Creating a life worth living isn’t easy when your head screams that you aren’t good enough for this world.
This is a little message to anyone who is having the thought that they aren’t worthy or strong enough for this life because I beg to differ!
To anyone who feels stuck,
To the person who sees groups of girls their age going out partying without a care in the world (or so it seems!) while you are sitting stressing over academic grades.
Friend, you are not doing life wrong. You are not too much and you ARE good enough.
This life can take many twists and turns, landing us in places that feel impossible to manage and maintain. Giving up feels like the easiest route out, when instead, it creates turmoil and many more obstacles.
There are no options to skip this stage of life. It’s part of the process. It’s a journey as hard as it is.
Coming to terms with change, understanding the new routine that each brings and seeing each day through with the little strength that remains shows so much resilience and control. Not control in a powerful way but the type that continues, even when tears come. The kind when you don’t even know how you stayed and survived another hour, yet here you are!
I see you.
You are not alone.
I’m here.
You compare every inch of your being to others who lead very different lives. Longing to be different from who you are in this moment but to fit in with those around you. Moving away from that thought feels huge. Too big. Too much. Like you tell yourself you are.
You feel you take up too much space. Too much of others’ time.
The lives and routines of others may look perfect from the outside. It may seem like they have the best friends, while achieving A* grades no matter what.
Have you ever thought what actually might be holding them together?
They may be crumbling internally. Just as you feel you are. You may have the view that they have the world at their fingertips. But don’t be fooled! From the outside things are calm and happy and stable. Inside, a mum and dad are going through a divorce, alcohol misuse and a lot of unknown from day to day.
Maybe when we look back at our childhood, we see family, we feel loved and a genuine sense of belonging.
What has changed?
You’ve grown up. You’ve moved on and you’ve become your own person. Feeling how you feel is valid because it’s how you are experiencing this world. It’s difficult. It’s far from easy. But it doesn’t have to feel impossible! It can be taken day by day. Moment by moment sometimes. But it can get better. It can feel good. It can become comfortable to take another step forward. You can get to a point where you feel ready.
Don’t wait until others are making the same decisions that are waiting for you.
Celebrate every little step. No matter how small or unimportant. Every step forward is a step closer to achieving what you thought you wouldn’t survive.
Happy 8 weeks self harm free!
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