The Unknown

Expecting the unexpected,
Constantly thinking about what could happen next,
What could go wrong,
What could have happen if things were different in that one moment before.

Living with BPD feels like this for me,
Not knowing how ill react if someone doesnt smile back,
If i don’t say thank you or return kindness.

What if i’m the one that makes things go wrong in the world?
What if i make bad things happen?

But what if things are inevitable?
What if they happen regardless of the decisions i make in my own life?

The unknown is scary.
Not knowing what will come next.

But instead of thinking what will go wrong, maybe it’s about what choices i can make to ensure i stay in recovery?
Maybe taking it an hour at a time, maybe day by day is enough, but always remember this:

You are braver than you believe,
Stronger than you seem,
smarter than you think
And loved beyond words.

Nothing you do eliminates your worth in life.
You have a beating heart, lungs that can fill up and empty with each breath.
If thats enough to keep you going, trust that you are meant to be here,
Youre meant to survive this storm.
Thats exactly what we will do, together.

Challenges will present themselves, but dont allow the storm to swallow you up.

You know how to swim against the wave until you find the shore again.

Ride the wave,
keep going.

It gets easier, I promise.