Dear younger me,
You won’t expect everything you’re going to experience. You’ll not want to continue. It will feel impossible. It will feel like you’re failing at life. You will expect yourself to carry on. But it won’t be that simple. The amount of mental pain, the exhaustion, the reality of losing everything you are trying so hard to hold on to daily… it will feel easier to disappear. To not face the world. To escape.
But Rhiannon, the only way is through! You’re so fragile right now. You will be reduced to tiny little pieces in parts of this journey. It’s not something anyone deserves or would wish for.
Goals and expectations have played a part in your recovery. But they need to take up less time and effort right now because although they can be motivating, they can cause unnecessary pressure and stress.
When you realise you are worthy of a life free from rules, expectations, and detailed plans, you will truly feel a weight lifted from your shoulders.
Allow yourself time to heal. You’re not going to get better if you do everything all at once. Keep things day to day, moment by moment if needed. But slow down.
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