Pain is an uncomfortable thing to experience. It’s heavy, and it’s strong and overstimulating. For me, pain feels like I’m being set alight. The flames are burning, yet the only thing I do is let them burn. They attach themselves and spread over every inch of my body.
Pain has been in my life a lot lately. Maybe not visibly. But my head, my thoughts, my mind? They are on fire! The burning, the smoke, dark grey clouds of air consuming everything I am and have… my whole world is disintegrating moment by moment.
Pushing through this pain feels impossible. It feels pointless. It doesn’t feel worth getting through. What would change when I get through the flames when they stop igniting another corner of my world? How could I rebuild what I don’t think I’ll ever get back?
Right now, Rhiannon, you’re fighting the fire, and it’s catching on everything around you. This fire won’t be tamed, managed, and put out in just a day. It will have the power to destroy things you can’t get back. It will take away time, memories, and progress. But what matters right now is that you survive. Don’t give the fire any more fuel to become you.
You are not this exhausting, weighted burden. You are not going to let this consume you. You will stand tall, shoulders back, eyes focused on your first goal. That goal is to be less like a fire but still be able to see the light, no matter what.
29th August 2025
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