Define ‘”better”

Fading. Feeling dreated,
Tears, angry shouting, and self-harm thoughts and actions.

This isn’t the life you want Rhiannon. You want to feel “better’ or “well”  but all in a moment! Change doesn’t happen with an exact time frame. Coming down to self-care and continuously ticking off the essentials on your to-do list, and feeling satisfied with what you’ve done at the end of each day.

Wherever you are now, choose to continue. Continue with the daily essentials.

Something in my complicated life needs to change.

When I implement a change, it seems pointless to try, impossible to overcome and get through. 

DESPITE IT ALL, YOU ARE STILL HERE!
You’re not who you were a few months ago.
Relapses have taken up a lot of the month of June and July. August started with harm, trauma and a lot of pain. But you feel a little glow not necessarily through physical appearance. You have got to bounce. I’ve got the skills. You can weigh up the pros and cons. Self-soothing and mindful breathing. These things seem so simple, yet in a crisis period, they are almost too overwhelming.

You have taken a blast. Something that was made to destroy you. You’ve lost your purpose because you find yourself at a low point in your life. The first step is the hardest.

IT WILL GET EASIER! Trust me. If you can’t find the little hope in your heart that will carry you through the next challenges, I will hold on for you.

Although you have had hard days, leading to hospital admissions, inpatient stays, and medication reviews, you have smiled while in a hostel. You’ve been accepted for the Open University. You’re achieving so much that you don’t give yourself the praise for it.

Life happens, it continues.
So we’re in the new month, August 2025.
Let us be determined, be stronger, and more open to facing changes. When I re-read that sentence, I realised I’ve always wanted to support others in the same ways I’ve found myself struggling. I want to be the person. I so desperately needed in my life, who understood, appreciated little wins, and showed my recovery IS possible.

Noticing that change needs to happen doesn’t suddenly ‘become’. It doesn’t happen i a moment or a complete rest in a split second. Progress means you show up every single day. Progress is getting through the hard days and still smiling.

Your feelings are completely and 100% valid, because they are yours. So don’t push them down any deeper. Fish them out and allow yourself to feel how you feel. Maybe not saying it out loud, but instead trusting yourself and believing it. You feel you are wrong. They are personal and belong to you.

Hold on to the glimmer. That little glow of light, and with the support of everyone around you, you will get through this.

I have every faith in you.

10/08/25