The light is her eyes fading. She had held on so long but felt exhausted. She was so innocent. Never saying no to requests and always giving her best with everything.
But now, she lay on her bed. Tears rolling down her face and unable to move. She was such a kind-hearted girl. Nothing seemed too big to ask, but the pressure she put on herself as well as the pressure from society to be the best, she just couldn’t keep it up.
She felt like a letdown. This girl who glowed and shone, making everyone around her feel safe and content, was losing herself. She was losing who she was and what she had fought hard to become.
None of that seemed to matter in that moment, though, because as she walked towards the bridge, which stood over the motorway full of traffic, she pulled herself over the railings and jumped. Of course, this was a scene she had imagined in her head. She wanted so badly to go to sleep and never wake up. No goodbyes. No explanations. But her life wasn’t like that.
She always felt there were signs in life. There were reasons for bad things happening before happiness would come back. Bad before the good, I guess. But she also knew her life meant something to others. She may not have had the energy to live for herself, for her own satisfaction and joy, but if staying alive meant she could see herself through another day in ordered to prove to others in the same position that it was and is and always will be possible, then it’s worth staying.
Sometimes in life, our reality is just a war we have to get through before we see victory. We can look back at things amd people we have lost. Part of me thinks we lose ourselves in life to gain our whole self. Because when we lose touch of the things most important, we think nothing is worth it. But in actual fact, we’re just finding our meaning… our hope that can become our very next moment if that is what we choose.
Rhiannon chooses to stay!
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