Day by day,
Moment by moment,
One at a time;
Breathe.
Feel how you feel,
But don’t allow it any more time than necessary.
You are more than the sadness that has been a part of your life these past few years.
You are not sadness.
You are you!
Nothing can remove your identity from this world.
You are unique.
You choose the path to take from now on,
Each choice is one that you will look back on in a year and remember with a smile on your face.
The sunshine glowing warm on your skin,
The flowers blooming,
The smile that your best friend has when she sees you coming, arms open, ready to embrace you in a hug.
All of these require a process,
A starting point,
To get to the final destination and then start over until the next time.
The sun has to rise and set at the start and end of each long day.
The progress of a flower that blooms is not a quick one. It takes in every little bit of life, while existing happily as it is.
And then there is the smile from your best friend. This can be a personal one, as everything is in life. The smile; a unique, personal way of expressing emotions of happiness. That of a friend though, not quite your own, but feels sometimes as if you helped form their smile with your company, your presence.
It’s a funny one!
Each moment can’t be taken back to change…
So why do we so often want to look back on the past and wish we had used different words, different actions?
Why do we believe that our past defines and becomes our future?
Each moment, each second that ticks by, we cannot re-live. We can only learn from.
Living in the past stops us from creating the life we can only dream of in the moment.
But every moment we live as it happens, is a moment closer to dreams becoming reality; not all at once, but slowly and steadily.
Progress isn’t sudden.
It happens over time,
Consistently.
Moment by moment,
Day by day,
Happiness will find a way.
Tag: mental health recovery
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A Moment At A Time
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Not The Same
I am not the person i used to be,
Although i have the same name, same features, I am not the same.
I am not the sick one,
the ‘be careful what you say around her’ one.
I am not known for being unwell anymore, although this is how it’s felt for years until recently.
I am not tip-toed around,
Whispered about under a breath,
Warned about to others ‘just incase’,
I am not self concious,
I am not misunderstood,
Because i am not the same.
I understand my emotions, my thoughts, my behaviours.
They dont occupy my mind for half the time they used to.
I’m not cured.
There is one thing for certain though-
I’m better.
I’m well.
I’m free.
And i am NOT the same.
I’m creating the life I almost lost -
I No Longer…..
Although I have a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder
I no longer let it control me,
I’m no longer the sickest version of myself,
I no longer feel the need to gain validation for the smallest choices,
I no longer have angry outbursts or lose my temper on a daily basis.
Although I’ve had a diagnosis of an eating disorder
I no longer want to shrink my body,
I no longer wish I could disappear,
I no longer have an unhealthy relationship with food or exercise,
I no longer let what used to trigger, affect me at all,
I no longer compare myself to others’ bodies.
Although I have a diagnosis of depression/unstable mood/anxiety
I no longer have pseudo seizures,
I no longer find crowds anxiety-provoking,
I no longer get severe low moods leading to hospital admissions each month,
I no longer have PRN medication on my prescription,
I no longer need two therapy sessions a week to keep me stable,
Although I have a mental illness currently,
I’m in a stable state and will remain so.
I’ve not been this well since before my diagnosis and treatment.
Some things have helped,
Some haven’t.
I no longer see myself as ‘the girl with BPD’.
I’m Rhiannon.
I am a psychology student, a music lover, and a blogger.
A small chapter of my story has been living through crisis and relapse.
We’ve moved on from that part.
We will keep moving forward until the words “Rhiannon no longer meets the criteria for BPD diagnosis” are written on paper. -
Allowing yourself to believe
Do you believe in full recovery? It’s something I’ve wanted for so long. I’ve never really thought of my mental health as just another thing that makes me unique. I’ve never viewed it as a strength… Something I’m proud of myself for getting this far with. I’m not going to lie and say it has been straightforward. But today, I am allowing myself to believe that things get better.
No matter what your head is telling you, whether it’s to feel guilty for having a little happiness moment or not thinking about self-destruction, you survived that feeling. The feeling of happiness was maybe overruled by guilt, but it took a moment in time to be felt. That’s a moment longer than you felt last week.
You’ve gone through so much that is brushed off as if it’s nothing. Labelled in your head as harm that was deserved. You minimize your victories.
Don’t expect your life to change overnight. Every day is another chance to keep proving you are committed to recovery. I’m not saying the bigger milestones lose value, but be proud of getting to the end of another day. That felt impossible, once upon a time.
Love the life you’re living right now, because every moment we live to regret is one we can’t relearn to love. It’s over before we know it’s happened.
