Gaining back your glow

Tag: depression

  • Strength

    Strength comes from within,

    Some days its hard to process.

    Others it comes through the inner determination to take another step forwards.

    One foot in front of the other may seem too much.

    It may feel like a failure to admit.

    It might not feel worth the use only energy we can find in a day.

    My friend, I can’t say my life is perfect. Or stable in any way right now. Or feels worth it each day.

    I can understand the want to hide away and be left to use harmful behaviours to cope with internal feelings and thoughts.

    I’m right here with you. I’m feeling the same.

    It feels easier to mask. To pretend. But that isn’t living. It’s going to become barely surviving. Harder and harder.

    You may be in a downward spirral, like me, if I’m being completely open and honest.

    You may think im just a girl on the internet, writing words behind a screen.

    Maybe i am just that.

    But i also have experiences and circumstances that others can find their own hope from. Because i get it.

    Lately ive been really putting myself down. Criticising every action, no matter if it moves me forwards or not.

    Everything i do feels wrong and as if im not worthy.

    I’m reminding not only myself but others reading this that we are PROOF that no matter what has come our way in life so far, there is better days ahead.

    We may not see our own acheievements.

    Our milestones.

    Our progress.

    We are still here.

    Alive.

    Surviving on some days, finding hope on others.

    We ARE hope!

    You are hope! Because for every bad day, there has been a moment after to feel that bit more manageable.

    A little bit better.

    And from hope comes the strength to keep going!

    Love and hugs.

    ❤️‍🩹

  • I No Longer…..

    Although I have a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder
    I no longer let it control me,
    I’m no longer the sickest version of myself,
    I no longer feel the need to gain validation for the smallest choices,
    I no longer have angry outbursts or lose my temper on a daily basis.

    Although I’ve had a diagnosis of an eating disorder
    I no longer want to shrink my body,
    I no longer wish I could disappear,
    I no longer have an unhealthy relationship with food or exercise,
    I no longer let what used to trigger, affect me at all,
    I no longer compare myself to others’ bodies.

    Although I have a diagnosis of depression/unstable mood/anxiety
    I no longer have pseudo seizures,
    I no longer find crowds anxiety-provoking,
    I no longer get severe low moods leading to hospital admissions each month,
    I no longer have PRN medication on my prescription,
    I no longer need two therapy sessions a week to keep me stable,

    Although I have a mental illness currently,
    I’m in a stable state and will remain so.
    I’ve not been this well since before my diagnosis and treatment.

    Some things have helped,
    Some haven’t.

    I no longer see myself as ‘the girl with BPD’.

    I’m Rhiannon.
    I am a psychology student, a music lover, and a blogger.

    A small chapter of my story has been living through crisis and relapse.
    We’ve moved on from that part.
    We will keep moving forward until the words “Rhiannon no longer meets the criteria for BPD diagnosis” are written on paper.

  • Staying On The Continuum

    26/06/25

    You know there is a difference in having a bad day, and becoming deeply depressed? I’ve always though that my bad days were all a part of my depressive disorder, or my BPD. Until I attended my first day of a 14 week course in mental health, wellbeing and building resilience. I have learnt today, the common misconception that if I end the day in tears, it doesn’t automatically become linked to my a mood disorder. A part of it can be related if the sadness becomes a persistent part of my daily life and affects my everyday functioning, but when I feel tired, when I’m maybe coming up to my monthly cycle, when I’m feeling nervous about meeting a new mental health keyworker, they are all very normal, understandable things to use up emotions.

    And although I have desperately wanted things to keep going absolutely brilliantly 100% of every single day, and then BAMMMMMMMMM!!!!! I’m hit with physical pain, or a sudden change to routine, and I suddenly think, ‘I’m depressed again. I thought I was well. I thought I was recovered. Why does it never stay away?’ Truth is, a bad day doesn’t equal being mentally unwell. It means you’re body is feeling emotions, like everyone does.

    I ‘ve been on the continuum of recovery for about 3 months now. I’m having monthly mental health appointments, and now I know, the bad days, have been just that! They haven’t been weeks of continuously sadness and outbursts, and self harm, leading to hospital visits or an increase in support being put in place. I am the furthest I’ve ever been from crisis or relapse. That is HUGE for me.

    So today, I’m encouraging you to be proud of feeling the emotions you feel. It just means your body is responding to daily life. Be kind to yourself, ALWAYS.

    Stay safe, my lovelies.

    Rhiannon Xx